In 2005, I woke up with roaring in my right ear. My hearing had vanished overnight, and in its wake came tinnitus, loud and relentless, like a jet engine on loop.

The hearing never returned. The tinnitus never left.

I was devastated, not just by the hearing loss or the constant ringing, but because it stole music, my greatest joy, from my life. 

I’ve been playing clarinet and singing since I was seven. Decades later I suddenly found myself struggling to hear my notes over my tinnitus.  Rehearsals and performances became overwhelming. My confidence crumbled. I packed away my clarinet and stopped singing.

At least I could still listen to music…or so I thought.

But music had lost its magic. The richness and sparkle were gone, dulled by hearing loss. And the tinnitus twisted every composition into a wall of sound that triggered panic instead of joy.

I remember that time vividly, the distress, the anxiety, the loneliness. I tried everything I could to deal with the noise in my head. Every so-called “cure,” every quick fix, I chased them all.

What finally turned my life around was mindfulness.

Learning to meet my tinnitus with awareness rather than fear changed everything. I still hear my tinnitus 24/7, but it no longer runs the show. I worked through my fear of sound, rebuilt my resilience, and little by little, reclaimed my love of music. 

These days, you’ll find me singing again, headbanging at rock and metal gigs, and soaking up the energy of summer festivals.

That journey inspired me to train as a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher and in CBT for Tinnitus. Now, I coach others to put tinnitus back in its place and enjoy a fulfilling life on their terms.